Painted Faces
by livebyinsanity
Summary: S2 EPISODE 14 'SACRIFICE' SPOILERS: My take on Jack's reaction to the news of Amanda's death. One-shot. Complete.


_S2 EPISODE 14 'SACRIFICE' SPOILERS: My take on Jack's reaction to the news of Amanda's death. One-shot._

~oooo~

**Painted Faces**

When Jack moaned in his hospital bed, four pairs of eyes snapped in his direction. As one, Emily, Nolan, Declan and Charlotte stood from where they had camped around the room and edged closer to his bed. They were anxious. Although the doctors had successfully removed the bullet in Jack's side, there was always doubt niggling in the back of their minds: that something had gone wrong, that Jack wouldn't wake up. There was a collective gasp as Jack's eyelids flicked open briefly and shut again, as though blinded by the brightness of the room.

Jack groaned. He felt sluggish. He had managed to open his eyes for less than a second, seeing four blurry figures before the effort seemed to exhaust him. Jack sank back into a daze.

"Amanda?" Jack heard himself mumble feebly. "Amanda?"

Jack was answered by a strained silence.

And then, he remembered.

_-flash-_

"_Aargh!" Jack cried out as the bullet tore into his flesh._

_Instinctively, his hand shifted towards the source of the wound. Jack and Amanda both looked downwards. His fingers were already red with blood and the stain was spreading rapidly across his shirt. This was bad, very bad. And Jack could see his own horror reflected in Amanda's face._

_The sound of several sharp gunshots drew the couple out of their reverie. They were running out of time! Amanda helped Jack clamber over the side of the boat. With a grunt, he fell into the small dinghy where Jack slumped awkwardly onto his back. His vision jolted and took a few moments to settle. What Jack saw made his heart clench._

"_Amanda!" Jack yelled. "What are you doing? No!"_

_She was untying the boat. Amanda dropped the ropes; the current forced Jack to drift away. Leaving her, stranded, with an armed psychopath._

"_Saving you!" Was her frenzied response; their gazes connected. "I love you Jack."_

_He wanted to scream out, 'Amanda, I love you,' but unconsciousness was reeling him in. Jack was too far away. As the world faded to black, Jack was aware of the silhouette of Nate Ryan bursting onto the deck._

_-endflash-_

The daze abruptly cleared. Jack surged into a sitting position, desperate and appearing manic.

"Amanda!" He exclaimed hoarsely; blank, pale faces stared back at him. "Amanda. Where is she?"

"Oh Jack..." Emily began to speak.

No. No.

"I'm so sorry..."

This couldn't be happening.

"Amanda's dead."

Lie.

_-flash-_

_The wind blew, sending a gentle breeze through Amanda's hair. She looked so beautiful. In her white wedding dress, against the backdrop of the beach with a radiant smile, Jack thought that she was the most beautiful creature in the entire world._

_Amanda took his hand in her own._

"_With this ring, I promise to cherish you and honour you until the end of time."_

_-endflash-_

Then, he felt numb.

Shaking his head in denial, Jack mumbled below his breath. The end of time. Until the end of time. Thus, it was simply impossible that Jack was here, breathing while Amanda was not. As hours dragged on and the others failed to procure a comprehensible response from Jack, they left. They left Jack alone and he was more than happy with that.

Jack spent several more days in hospital. He rarely spoke, preferring to dwell silently upon his own memories. When divers recovered the body, Jack had been forced to accept that yes – Amanda was dead. He brooded some more. He irritated the nurses when he refused to get out of what they called a 'petty funk'. Sometimes, when he was pretending to sleep, Jack would hear them complain about him and how he was a terribly difficult patient.

Jack would shrug.

On the day that he was getting released, one week after he had been admitted, Declan and Charlotte came to visit him. Of course, they had dropped in multiple times before but Jack had essentially tuned them out.

This time was different. This time, Charlotte prodded her boyfriend on the arm and gave him a meaningful glance.

"Jack" Declan stated loudly, grabbing his brother on the shoulder. "You can't keep doing this to yourself. It's not healthy. We all understand how you feel."

"Do you Declan!" A week of suppressed anger and frustration came out with force. "Do you? You love Charlotte with all your heart. What if she suddenly died? What if you had the happiest day of your life and next morning she is gone? So tell me Declan. Wouldn't you also want to wither away and curl inside?"

Both teenagers paled.

"Come on Jack" Declan pleaded. "We all miss Amanda..."

_-flash-_

_Jack absently grabbed another glass and scrubbed at it. He was anxious. The results of Amanda's pregnancy test would be coming soon. Jack so desperately wanted the baby to be his. _

_Beside him, Declan was also cleaning glasses._

"_Don't worry if the baby is not yours." Declan said, trying to be reassuring. "It's not like we need the extra burden anyway."_

_-endflash-_

Jack cut in before Declan could finish his sentence.

"DO YOU?!" Jack bellowed. "Remember what you said? You thought she was a BURDEN! You thought my son was a burden! In fact, you're probably happy at the moment thinking yay! She's dead! You can have extra pocket money now that we have one less mouth to feed! What are you planning, Dec? Buy yourself a new computer? A fancy phone?"

Declan spluttered. "What Jack, that's crazy"

"And YOU!" Jack roared, turning.

Charlotte squeaked.

"Amanda was your half-sister." Jack's voice continued to get louder. "Don't you even care that she's dead? No, of course not, because you would rather hang around my hospital bed, telling me to get on with my life!"

Charlotte flinched and ran out of the room.

As Jack huffed, Declan had finally been shocked out of his stupor. He stood directly in front of his brother.

"Charlotte's been crying herself to sleep every night." Declan gritted through clenched teeth. "Charlotte changed her last name to Clarke. Amanda was the only family she had – of course she bloody cares! I get it Jack, you're hurting, but that doesn't give you the right to be a dick."

With a glare, Declan too left, to search for Charlotte who was currently sobbing in a nearby toilet.

_-flash-_

_Amanda was asleep in his arms. Jack sighed in contentment. Unfortunately, he had drunk a lot of coffee earlier and this was why he was presently unable to join Amanda in sleep._

_Jack was going to ask her to marry him. It felt right. It didn't matter that Amanda was different to how carefree she had been as a child. Life happened, her father had died – of course she would be different. Jack himself had changed since the days of his childhood._

_But those details didn't matter._

_What mattered was that when Amanda cuddled up against Jack, it felt right._

_-endflash-_

Jack found Emily waiting outside in the carpark. She seemed confused by the absence of Charlotte and Declan.

Stiffly, Jack opened the door and sat in the passenger seat.

"Hi Jack." Emily greeted him awkwardly.

"Hi." Jack said.

"Um alright..." Emily hesitated as she started the engine. "So, how are you feeling?"

"Fine."

Emily's brow furrowed. That meant no.

"Look, Jack." Emily murmured, as they stopped at a traffic light near Emily's house. "I'm so so sorry about Amanda. When she was dying in my arms, I really wished that I could have done something to save her. That I had shot Nate earlier so that the boat wouldn't have blown up. And I'm so sorry, Jack, I'm so unbelievably sorry."

"Emily, just stop." Jack ground out. "I thought Amanda was one of your best friends. Do you honestly think saying 'sorry' a thousand times would help bring her back? Stop the car."

The brake was slammed. It was Emily's turn to splutter.

"You're just trying to make yourself feel better." Jack spat as he got out of the car. "Meanwhile, my wife is dead. I'll get a bus home."

Decisively, without looking back at a gaping Emily, Jack stormed towards the closest bus stop. Out of the corner of his eye, Jack saw the Grayson manor which caused his frown to deepen. They were probably celebrating with a glass of champagne too. Seeing that they were responsible for the arrest of David Clarke, they were probably overjoyed that the daughter was out of the way too.

Jack wanted to kick something. And to think he had wanted to believe that Conrad would help him save his business!

Declan, Emily, Conrad.

Jack was surrounded by painted faces. People who didn't really care about him at all.

As Jack spotted the bus coming down the road, he made a resolve.

He would take his son and leave the Hamptons.

Tonight.

~oooo~

_Hey! Thanks for taking the time to read this fic! I usually like Jack as a character but I thought it would be interesting to see him become overcome with paranoia. Anyone else think that Amanda's death was sad? Please review._


End file.
